dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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