You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
