The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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