Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
