On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
