discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
