So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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