we're blogging at a bar
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
