She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wear drunk well.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
