Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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