So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
