dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
