One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
