Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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