your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
