also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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