I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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