Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
