have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
