I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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