Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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