I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
