It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I booty called her while she was in labor.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
