I feel like I'm in dance class right now
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
