Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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