Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
