:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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