But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
