this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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