If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
