WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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