hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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