the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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