i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
