every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
