i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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