Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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