there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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