We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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