yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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