Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
