my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
