Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
