I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
