Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
