also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.