I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i now understand why vodka
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i am craving dick and cupcakes