Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?