This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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