as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.