I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
