We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
