these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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