Heybabeimwearingurpanties
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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