Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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