I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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