Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
