it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize