A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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