Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
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Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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