I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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