Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
