Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
