Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
