There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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