I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
