Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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